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I only have so much, and when it is gone it will be gone. Matatu's stunt will cause me to use more on Shaton than I would have needed to if he had kept taking it and kept resting until he was well."I could see right away that she understood what that meant. In fact Nita, Katia, Jekaycey, and Shaeta seemed to understand too. Denac did not understand, and he had the kind of manners that allowed him to ask questions if he wondered about something. It was one of my favorite things about him."But why will that matter, Carl. What would make Matatu wail and beg the spirits about that?" Denac asked."Because my friend, after I have used the last of the medicine to help others get well, Matatu will know who he killed with his traveling tantrum." Who he killed. What do you mean?" The next one that needs that type medicine after it is gone will die, and Matatu will know he caused their death, and mostly for nothing. I encouraged him to beg the spirits for more of the medicine. They brought it. I asked if my wife was there and again didn’t think about the look the nurse and doctor exchanged.“Your ... family is in the surgical center waiting room,” was all he said and I saw the nurse inject something into the IV.The next time I woke up I was apparently in my room by myself.Then the door opened to what I was later to find out was the bathroom and Helen, my mother-in-law, walked out.My throat was so dry I barely could talk, but I managed to croak out, “Helen, where’s Mandy?”I can’t begin to describe the look Helen gave me.Fear, anguish, pain, despair all crossed her face before she burst into tears.Suddenly it hit.I remembered the look the nurse and doctor in Germany had given each other when I asked about my wife.And the look the nurse and doctor had given each other here at Walter Reed when I did the same.And how any time I mentioned my wife I was only told my “family had been contacted.”Seeing the despair on Helen’s face, along with the tears, crystallized a husband’s worst.
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